Emotional roller-coasters

Emotions are a powerful force, and it can be overwhelming when it feels as if our emotions are carrying us away from our goals or making our relationships more challenging. Our emotions are designed to protect, connect, and motivate us. When they are unpleasant it can be like an alarm to wake us up to what we need to do to survive in the moment. When we pay attention to these ‘alarms’ it gets easier to change course if needed before intense emotions begin.

For example, anxiety (fear of the future or something that has not happened yet) often causes a cascade of responses in our body. A person experiencing anxiety might notice physical sensations like shallow or shortened breathing, tense muscles, faster heart rate, some nausea or stomach tightening, getting hot or sweaty, and more. This is our body’s way of preparing in case what is coming in the future requires us to run away or fight, the fight or flight response. This is a very useful thing for our body to do for survival, although often our worries are less about an urge to run away from a tiger in the bushes and more about more complicated situations like navigating financial stress or social situations.

When we understand our emotions by naming them and identifying their purpose for surfacing, we are in a better position to decide if it will be best for us to act with our emotion or do something else beyond our first emotional urge. Shifting emotions is often not easy, and yet we can accomplish it with practice. When we know that the amount or fight or flight response from the anxiety or fear is too much to be helpful for the situation, we can do the opposite. For fear or anxiety, this could be deep breathing, relaxing muscles, and confronting what we fear. We can adjust our temperature and drink water to bring the body back to its regular functions that do best when we are out of fight and flight. There are a whole set of strategies to adjust our emotions in addition to these basics like breathing and relaxing.